"If you don't know the story, you can't lead the Airman."
What if I told you that their are many people that you met that you don't really know, but really need to know you and for you to know them?
Below is a part of my story, a story that you would never think to associate with me if you saw me in class because I do a very good job at hiding it.
My life is chalk-full of disappointments. Disappointments like the water that smudged this paper I am writing on [Note: originally written on a piece of paper], or the broccoli, that I am eating, that doesn't taste like broccoli anymore because it has been in the warmer too long. I guess I am a "glass is half empty" type of person. I never used to be like this, a pessimist that is.
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| COURTESY OF COHEN HILLEL ACADEMY |
I have just come to the realization that besides having the love and support of my parents, I have been completely and utterly alone my whole life, through school and everything. Now, I continue to be alone.
As you are reading this you, probably, ask yourself, how could one be utterly alone throughout grade school? Oh, it is possible. I've only come to this realization when I graduated and came here for the first time for summer session.
I was sort of in the same mindset I am in now; well, not exactly. I thought that I had my best friend from high school who said I could call her anytime I wanted to talk. She was not planning on going to college at all, but I knew she was just a phone call away. I called, she answered, but it was distant to say the least. I cared and still care about her, but the only connection we really built was around school... complaining about school, having lunch at school, having lunch doing school work, etc.
Out of all four years in high school, I barely know this person, who I considered my best friend, without the common ground of school.
THERE I WAS ALONE.
I am here now, at Penn State, a place with 45,000 people and around 8,000 freshman. I AM STILL ALONE. I make acquaintances upon acquaintances, but no one I can truly say they are my friend. I see tons of potential friends. I have invited many of them to dinner, they go one time, then I may ask them again and they come again. They never invite me to dinner. Do you know how much that can brighten a person's day, simply inviting them to dinner? I am not saying that it is necessary or that I am wanting to go to dinner every night with someone. Just that no one, not one person has asked me to dinner.
I see so many people with "links", establishments, and with at least one person they can call a friend. Then, there is me; I am and feel utterly alone.
Here I sit, in the dinning commons, with my overly blanched broccoli, smoked BBQ pork, two slices of pizza and a singular West Commons cookie. ALONE.
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| COURTESY OF PENN STATE TWITTER |
When I get back to my room, I think about the undeniable comfort of drowning myself in Netflix and sugar. Hoping that someday my friendly efforts will be returned and I will get a text for dinner. But for now, the only thing holding me together is Netflix, my parents, and cookies.
Now that you have heard a part of my story, I CHALLENGE YOU to find someone you do not know or barely know this week and get to know them. They may really need a friend and you might be just the person. Remember you are leaders, but "if you don't know the story, you can't lead the Airman."
TIFFANY N. SEIBERT, C/4c, AFROTC
This blog post hit me hard, only because I'm sure we're all familiar with the feeling of loneliness. Especially at such a large university such as this one. I can definitely relate to the feeling of not having any close friends here. I live in supplemental, and I am close with the 5 other girls that live with me . Other than that, I have not been able to make other close connections. Hopefully we'll both be able to venture out and make new friends in the near future! And by the way, even I live in the secluded North Halls, I'm always up for grabbing dinner with you :)
ReplyDeleteThis is something that I struggle with as well. The best advice that my sister ever gave me was that it took her one and a half years to find her best friends here at Penn State, so all we can do right now is be friendly and reach out to people. Everyone eventually finds a place, and right now is the right time to get involved and work hard and make the most of what you have. I would definitely get dinner with you anytime if you'd like as well! Keep going, you got this!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand how you feel right now. It is simply amazing how building truly deep connections with people can be so difficult at a place with sooo many people. One of the problems I think I experienced in my first couple weeks was making tons of connections, but very few deep ones. It's one thing to exchange common pleasantries with someone by talking about your day, talking about school, or saying how much you miss home. However, I've found that the best way to form a deeper connection with someone (and maybe one day a deeper friendship) is to instigate a though-provoking conversation about something obscure. After expending basics forms of casual conversation, ask somebody something really deep. It doesn't have to be something that makes them uncomfortable, but make it something that forces them to share a piece of them. Ask something like "What do you value in the world" or something fun like "Would you rather live a hundred years in the future or the past". These are just ideas that have worked for me, if you get a chance to use them sometime I'd recommend it. Just know that in feeling utterly alone, you are NOT ALONE. Many people feel the exact same way and are just waiting to find the right friend.
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